Katy Perry seemingly has a perfect life, fame, fortune and a successful career but little does many know there is a pain behind all the glamour.
The “Roar” hitmaker in a chat on Canadian radio show “Q on CBC,” has opened up about her mental health issues.
The pop superstar disclosed in the new interview that she went through a breakdown after her split from Orlando Bloom in 2017 and poor album sales.
The “American Idol” judge disclosed that she considered suicide and was left “wallowing” in her “own sadness” after hitting rock bottom in her personal and professional life.
“I lost my smile,” the California native told host Tom Power. “I don’t know if my smile was ever fully, like, authentically mine but I was riding on the high of a smile for a long time. Which was the validation, love, and admiration from the outside world, and then that shifted.”
Perry who has since reconciled with Bloom and even expecting a child together went on to reveal that watching her career take a nosedive had a “seismic” impact and “literally broke me in half.”
“I had broken up with my boyfriend, who is now my baby-daddy-to-be, and then I was excited about flying high off the next record and the record didn’t get me high any more … The validation didn’t get me high, and so I just crashed,” the 35-year-old singer recalled.
Born Katheryn Hudson, Perry whose parents were Pentecostal pastors when she was growing up described the experience as “necessary brokenness,” adding that she believes gratitude saved her life.
“It was so important for me to be broken so that I could find my wholeness in a whole different way. And be more dimensional than just living my life like a thirsty pop star all the time,” she said.
“Gratitude is probably the thing that saved my life, because if I didn’t find that I would have wallowed in my own sadness and probably just jumped but I found the ways to be grateful.”
She added that her faith helped her recover. After navigating depression and anxiety for years, she said, has a different outlook on life.
“Hope has always been an option for me … because of my relationship with God and something bigger than me. If I’m the only one controlling my destiny of course it’s going to be, like, I am going to drive it into the ground,” she said.
“My hope is that something bigger than me created me for a purpose and created me for a reason, and that I’m not disposable, and that, you know, every person that’s been created has a purpose.”
“When I’m writing those songs, I’m in the worst place of my life. Something comes over me and writes the song — my soul is my ghostwriter,” she said. “I turn to music to speak my language of my heart and my soul, especially when I’m in those dark times. I think I write these songs because I first and foremost need the hope.”
This is not the first time Perry has discussed her mental health struggles.
Back in 2017, the singer she live-streamed a session with therapist Siri Sat Nam Singh on YouTube as part of Vice’s “The Therapist” series.
During the conversation, Perry admitted she felt “ashamed that (she’d) feel that low or that depressed.”
“I’m really strong as Katy Perry, and sometimes I’m not as strong as Katheryn Hudson,” she said at the time.
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